Take A Bite Of Me Boy
by ILookDaftWithOneShoe
Summary: Loki's a vampire, Tony's a hunter, and quite frankly while they should be killing each other Loki keeps slipping the net by being so pretty. Then Tony's partner, Steve, goes missing, so Tony crawls to the one vamp who might just help.
1. Our Lord The Alpha

**A/N: **Welp. This happened. If I'm making mistakes, please tell me, and please review if possible.

Based of Deadly Game by Tartanfly; however, you don't need to read it (I mostly just liked the concept, it's a little highly rated for me = P) just know that Tony keeps hunting Loki and failing because Loki Laufeyson the vamp is the best lay Tony's had.

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**Chapter 1: Our Lord The Alpha**

Loki Laufeyson sat idly in a cabin in Virginia, reading and running his tongue through his own mouth to take in what he could of the deer he'd killed and drank from last night.

From a long way off, he could smell several humans, many many forest animals, and a few vehicles.

Probing the scents deeper, wary of hunters in the area, he recognised one scent in particular; a masculine, alcohol-infused scent with overlying traces of pizza and blood on the silver knife Loki knew he was undoubtedly carrying.

Stark.

He should've known this hiding place wouldn't last long, after he'd given in to temptation and attacked a hiker a week or two ago. It was just his good luck that it was Stark after him and not a less persuadable victim.

The scent grew closer and closer; the human knew where he was.

Loki expectantly put down his book and unbuttoned part of his shirt, slipping into his wicked smirk as the human opened the door.

"'One of these days, Loki, I won't be here for a jerk off.'" Loki quoted dryly, remembering Stark's exit line from their last encounter. "Today does not seem to be that day, Stark."

"Cram it, Dracula. I need your help." Tony said without as much as a 'hello'.

-O.O-

_About three weeks ago..._

Tony drove into the parking lot of his motel, turning up his collar so the bite mark Loki had so kindly left wasn't visible. He'd gotten most of the blood off, and he didn't look too messy, so hopefully he'd pass a spot check.

"Honey, I'm home!" Tony said as he opened his room's door.

Steve Rogers, his long time hunting partner, leaned out of the kitchenette with a serious expression that was undermined by his stars 'n stripes apron. "Did you get him?"

Tony sighed theatrically. "He's harder to catch than the bloody Roadrunner." _Except I've never been seduced by a bird, _he added mentally.

"Really..." Steve said. "Dinner's nearly ready, give yourself a wash."

Tony did, thankful for the chance to get the remaining blood and the smell of sex off himself before Steve noticed anything suspicious.

Steve had used their meager supplies to put up a pretty decent dinner, and Tony talked and laughed with him, trying to keep the subject away from one Loki Laufeyson, until Steve reached forward and yanked his collar down.

"What's _that_?" Steve said suspiciously, looking at the bandage Tony had applied to his neck.

"Nothing, Steve." Tony said sharply, tugging away from him.

"Did Loki do that to you?" Steve said persistently.

"No, Steve, I got a bite from the sink." Tony said snippily. "It's nothing; leave it alone."

"It doesn't look like nothing. Do you have any other injuries I should know about?" Steve asked, moving around the table to run his hands down Tony's sides.

"Nope, stop it, bad touching - ah!" Tony gasped as Steve found a bruise just above his hips that Loki had left with his inhuman strength.

"Tony." Steve said quietly. "You didn't lose Loki at all, did you?"

Tony didn't say anything, so Steve continued. "You've 'missed' him quite a few times. Has this happened before? And don't you dare lie to me."

"...Yeah. Look, Steve, it's nothing to worry about. Eventually I'll cut that bastard's head off." Tony said, thinking _once I get over myself and stop sleeping with him._

"Will you? Why didn't you tell me you'd been having trouble fighting him?" Steve said.

"Steve, that guy is a slippery bastard. I didn't want him to hurt you." Tony lied quickly.

"What's the real reason? Don't give me your bullplop, Stark, I want to know." Steve frowned.

Tony was stuck between being upset at being called by his last name and laughing at Steve's concession to swearing. He compromised by taking a deep breath and saying "Look, Steve, he's - he's really good at confusing you. He doesn't fight with his fangs, he fights with his brain, and..." Tony didn't quite know how he could possibly finish that sentence with something that wasn't 'and then we fucked'.

"Then how'd you get those..." Steve said, looking pointedly at the marks. Then he put two and two together, and realised that the bite was exactly where a hickey would be, and the bruise on his hip was a handprint. "Oh, Tony, you _didn't._"

Tony managed a look of some regret. He _did _feel bad, on some level, but on some other levels Loki was the best lay he'd ever had and Tony Stark was notorious for thinking with his dick. "Look, Steve, I'm sorry-"

"Sorry doesn't cover it, Tony. You slept with the monster you were hunting! I can't believe you! That's just - oh my gosh - I - I can't deal with your stuff right now." Steve said, snatching his mostly still-packed bag off the filthy motel carpet and walking out of the room. "I'm going."

Tony heard the antique car's engine start up and Steve leave.

"Shit." Tony said with a groan.

-O.O-

Loki looked way too amused by all this. "Poor Stark. Ruined by your lust for monster flesh." He chuckled.

"Zip the lip. Do you want me to finish the story or not?" Tony said irritably.

Loki gave a noncommital shrug and gestured for him to continue.

-O.O-

This wasn't exactly the first fight Steve and Tony had had. Considering they were best friends with opposite personalities, it wasn't going to be the last either.

Usually Steve just got so sick of Tony's crap that he left for a few days and turned up again having calmed down and remembered that Tony was the son of the best in the business.

This was why Tony didn't worry too much, even though what he'd done this time was probably the worst yet.

After a few days, having knifed a kitsune and started tracking down a new hunt, he was getting a little worried. Tony ditched the hunt and went Steve-searching instead.

Despite the fact that every hunter had heard of Howard Stark and by extension Tony Stark, and Steve was well known and well liked by all who knew him, nobody seemed to know where Steve was.

Again, hardly new; hunters could go off the grid for a while.

As days became two weeks without Steve answering a cellphone or making contact with any of their friends, Tony started to get very worried. It wasn't that Steve couldn't look after himself, but in their line of work even the best of hunters could be taken down.

It turned from 'dude I'm sorry I won't fuck the vamp again' to 'holy fudgesticks Steve where are you if you're dead I'll be so mad' and Tony was calling in every favour he was owed to find out where Steve was.

-O.O-

"Just marry the poor beast and get it over with." Loki said with a swoon. "Your heart only beats for him, I see."

"What part of _zip the lip _do you not understand?" Tony growled.

-O.O-

Eventually, two and a half weeks after Steve had left, Tony had a lead: his technical advisor and science buddy Bruce Banner hacked Steve's bank account to give Tony his credit history.

Steve was in Hoople, North Dakota.

Tony drove there in record time, using a car he *cough* appropriated *cough* from a parking lot a couple of weeks ago. He tended to do things 'poor hunter' style rather than delve into his not-insignificant personal fortunes.

When he made it to town, he went to the motel Steve had checked into last according to his credit history and found their shared car not in the parking lot. Tony went to reception and got the number of Steve's room, which he apparently hadn't checked out of yet.

It was locked, and had been for a while. Peering through the window, Tony could see Steve's gear still packed up on the floor. How un-Stevey.

"Cap?" Tony asked, referring to Steve's old army rank, Captain.

No answer, though it was pretty obvious he wasn't home.

It took Tony two days of being in town, but he managed to ascertain that the 'pretty blonde man' had driven to the forest out of town, and from the police, he knew that 'the big FBI agent' had been looking into an exsanguination victim.

Vamps.

Had to be.

After making a few calls, Tony ascertained that he was in a vampire hotspot for whatever reason. There was a pack in town.

By wandering the forest at night, looking lost and oh-so-edible, Tony managed to capture a vampire and drag him to a little hut he'd found.

"Where's the big blonde hunter that was in town recently?" Tony snarled, his silver knife digging nicks into the bound vampire's exposed neck.

"I'm not saying anything." the vampire growled, his teeth extended and very deadly-looking as he fought to escape using his freaky vamp powers.

"You are," Tony said, digging the knife in a little more, making the vamp writhe in pain.

Tony continued in his ministrations until the vampire was pleading, begging to not be decapitated.

"It's simple; tell me where he is." Tony said when the vampire begged for mercy.

The vampire did, and instead of upholding his deal Tony beheaded him there and then.

-O.O-

Loki gave an affected wince. "I would not yield so easily, Stark, if you are considering a similar attempt upon myself."

"I said I needed your help, didn't I?" Tony said.

"You needed my comrade's help too, and yet his head no longer sits upon his neck. Where was your partner?"

-O.O-

The Alpha Vampire's house.

Tony had thought that was a myth, but no, right here in this very town was where the Alpha lived.

And they had Steve.

According to the vamp, because of his large size, he made a good blood cow, and as he was a hunter it made the torture ever sweeter.

-O.O-

"Are not the Alpha's sources usually virginal adolescents?" Loki said with a raised eyebrow. "Though it is well known that the older the virgin, the better the blood."

"Well..." Tony said, rubbing his neck. Steve _was _a bit of a prude.

Loki burst into his infectious laugh. "Even as a monster, I am hardly virginal! You tell me your partner...oh, Stark, he is your opposite in so many ways!"

"He's just waiting for the right girl." Tony replied, wondering how his life had gotten to the point where he was discussing Steve Rogers' virginity in a shack in Virginia with a vampire he'd slept with.

Loki was still chuckling as he said "I hardly see how this involves me, unless..." his vivid green eyes widened. "Oh no. Stark, no. I will not. Never."

"I think you've already figured it out, but I want you to go into Vampireville and break my good buddy Steve out." Tony said.

"Why would I risk my life for a man who would have me dead?" Loki sneered. "You and I are not _friends, _Stark, we are enemies who enjoy the other's body. Beside that, I am not welcome within the house of the Alpha."

"Why is that, Loki? Why are you the only vamp I've met who doesn't move in a pack? You're a sitting duck, working alone, and sometime someone's going to catch you and kill you, and no one will back you up." Tony said.

"What is your point? I live alone, Stark, that is the way it is." Loki narrowed his eyes suspiciously.

"I'm saying that to every hunter who knows your name, there's a great big target on your back, and I could do something about that." Tony said smoothly.

"You wish to send the word that I am under your protection?" Loki said. This was surprisingly tempting; Loki was sick of being chased by wannabe hunters who couldn't catch him but could run him into a burrow for a while.

"Yeah. Also, you'll have the pleasure of saying 'I'm so fabulous that hunters come for me to help.'" Tony added with a grin.

Loki shook his head. "It would take more than a verbal safeguard from Anthony Stark to convince me to turn upon the Alpha. He has powers you could not understand."

"I'll throw in the location of every vamp-free zone in North America." Tony said seriously.

"Easily done; I could scent them out myself." Loki tutted.

"A fake ID. Loki Laufeyson, pretty vampire, could become Lukas Lawson, pretty human of suburbia, and the vamps would find it harder to grab your ass while you're surrounded by strong-scented humans." Tony said.

"If you add access to your money and to the several hunting cottages I _know _you own as shelters, I may consider it." Loki deadpanned.

"Oo, you strike a hard deal." Tony winced.

"It is no small matter, working against our lord the Alpha. He has a link to each of us, in our mind, and controls the vampire across the world. Turning against him is turning against yourself. I am fortunate to be outside of a pack, so his influence on me is slight, but it is still there, and I rather value my life." Loki said.

"Fine. I want my hunting partner back. Here's the deal: you get Steve out, and if I get him safe and sound, you get money, hideouts, and ID, not to mention theoretical immunity from any hunters on your ass." Tony sighed. "That work for your Highness?"

"I am no demon, so there is no need to seal it with a kiss, but-" Loki finally stood and shoved Tony against the wall, kissing him before extending his fangs to graze along his jaw. "-do not forget who you are dealing with."

The graze on Tony's jaw dribbled a few drops of blood as Tony's heart beat faster in fear and arousal from contact with Loki. Loki leaned forward with an evil grin and licked the blood off, before beginning to gather his meagre belongings from the shack.

Damn that vampire.


	2. Call Me A Whore

**A/N: **Sorry about the delay. This story and my brain do not coexist. And reviews would be lovely

= D

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**Chapter 2: Call Me A Whore**

Virginia is around 2500 km from North Dakota, for those who didn't know.

It had taken Tony over two days to get from Hoople to where Loki was camping out, driving in a crappy Corolla for as long as he could before crashing in a campground in the backseat.

Hunter style. No one said it was glamourous.

Tony had a lot of money, most of it belonging to his late father, but he hated the man and hated the inheritance he'd been left so generally he went native and worked off the bones of his ass.

This drive, though, would probably go faster because he didn't have to find Loki's bolthole.

Loki bitched and complained the whole drive, not because there was anything to complain about, but because he knew Tony had to put up with it either way.

"Pathetic tiny car, not built for someone of my height." Loki grumbled, legs bent awkwardly.

"Yeah, well, a Range Rover would attract attention, sunshine." Tony frowned.

"These clothes are unwieldy and _ugly_." Loki whined, flapping the overlarge sweatshirt about.

Tony rolled his eyes. "It's wrap up tight or burn, and you know it, so stop bitching."

"I need to hunt. I am hungry." Loki frowned.

"I'll agree with you on that one." Tony nodded. "C'mon, there's a shawarma joint up a bit."

It was late afternoon, bleeding to evening, as Tony pulled over. Loki tugged a wide-brimmed hat on over his pale face as he got out of the car, making Tony burst out laughing.

"What!?" Loki snapped.

"You look fucking ridiculous." Tony sniggered, locking the car manually because it was a pile of junk.

"It is this or my skin will scorch and burn," Loki said, and _oh yeah, monster._

Tony fiddled with his fingers as he thought about what he was doing. Steve would kill him or at least give him a very stern lecture for asking Loki's help, but he had to, right? And if Tony tried to ignore all of Loki's vampiric quirks, he could almost pretend he wasn't working with a monster he should have killed. The guy was likable when he wasn't being a little bitch.

Tony distinctly heard Loki make a hungry noise as he walked into the restaurant and saw all the unsuspecting humans just sitting there.

"Cool it, big guy, or the deal's off." Tony warned.

"And what a _pity _that would be." Loki said dryly. Tony looked at him; his pupils were dilated and he seemed to swallow a lot.

"Go back to the car." Tony said suddenly.

"I am fine. Bloodlust is nothing I haven't experienced before." Loki said, slightly breathily.

Tony pointed Loki at an empty booth when he went to order. "Sit there and don't eat anyone."

Loki made a disapproving noise and went to sit down. When Tony brought food over and set a tray in front of Loki, the vampire glared at it and said "What do you wish me to do with it? Absorb it through osmosis?"

"Oh, yeah, whoops. Mm. I'll eat that too, then." Tony shrugged. _Goddamnit Tony you can't make a vampire eat vegetarian food, _his subconscious shouted.

Loki rolled his eyes and bared his teeth, looking around the diner.

"That girl," He said lowly, indicating a child sitting on a barstool. "Is six years old, blood type AB-, slightly underweight due to mild anaemia caused by vegetarianism."

"Uh, you okay there?" Tony said, reaching for the blade on his belt.

"I could be across this diner with my fangs in her neck before you could stop me, Stark," Loki hissed, his mouth distorting ever so slightly as he threatened to extend his fangs.

"I'd like to see you try," Tony said, leaning towards him in the booth to gently prod him with the silver knife in warning.

"But I would not, Stark, and do you know why?" Loki said smoothly. "Because, like so many of my kind, I can control the bloodlust. We are not unthinking beasts like so many other monsters, and myself even less so. You and I made a deal, and I will not break it unless you do."

"I shouldn't trust you, _Liesmith._" Tony said uncertainly.

"I believe you should. I have much to gain, as do you. So trust me, at least until this deal is over, and then we will return to our lives and with any luck never see the other again." Loki said, leaning back against the bench like nothing had happened.

"Agreed." Tony said.

"Where are you resting tonight?" Loki said, the question so disturbingly innocent after the previous conversation that Tony was thrown off for a second.

"Uh, I've been sleeping in the car, but unless you have other ideas we'll need two beds-"

"I do not require sleep. I will hunt tonight and then continue my book." Loki said flatly.

"Okay. Is that a vamp thing, the not sleeping? Cause I've never heard it before." Tony said curiously.

"I am not tired." Loki replied, staring at the little girl hungrily again.

Tony ate in silence, watching Loki in case of sudden attacks.

-O.O-

Their final stop for the night was a campground in Ohio. Tony wanted to be up and moving before dawn, so as soon as they parked Loki jumped out to hunt while Tony curled up on the backseat to sleep.

Tony was feeling completely baffled. He shouldn't trust Loki, plain and simple, but like he'd told Steve, the vampire fought with his brains and left you all confused about exactly what you wanted. About half of Tony hated that and the other half admired his intelligence.

He had drifted off into an uneasy sleep when there was a tap at the glass.

Opening his eyes, Tony yelped like a little girl when he saw a gaunt, pale face with its mouth smeared with blood in the opposite window. Loki rolled his eyes and gestured for him to unlock the car.

Oops. Must have been force of habit.

"Hey, 'Lo." Tony said sleepily through the window. "Good hunt?"

Loki nodded and gave a bloodstained, predatory smile that sent a shiver down Tony's spine.

Flicking the latch blearily, the hunter lay back down and tried to fall asleep.

The door opened and a weight fell on Tony.

"Stark." Loki breathed hotly despite his cool skin.

_Oh my god, _Tony though as Loki began to crawl up his body and pull the door shut with his foot. _Horny bloodstained vamp warning. Never thought I'd need that one._

He'd known Loki had a fetishist connection with fucking and feeding - the three bite scars on his neck and one on his pectoral were proof of that - but still, what the hell.

Tony stopped caring when Loki's clever pickpocket hands pulled his head up for a bloody, coppery kiss that made him simultaneously revolted and delighted.

"Uh, sunshine," Tony chuckled when he registered that Loki was on top of him. "You're not fucking me. I know all about the super strength and I want my pelvis in one piece tomorrow."

Loki made an irritated noise, biting sharply at Tony's collarbone. "Whenever were you told you had a choice?"

-O.O-

Tony expected to feel guilty - guiltier - when he woke up, but really didn't.

The first pinky tinges of dawn were teasing over the horizon when he woke up to his phone alarm playing _Problem Child. _

He dozily pulled his shirt back on and looked in the front to see Loki reading _Game Of Thrones._

"Me, I think I'm the rightful Stark for the Iron Throne." Tony quipped. "But whatever."

Loki gave a low, wicked chuckle. "And how is our lord and master's pelvis faring?"

"Mm, good." Tony said teasingly, with a surprisingly lack of asshattery. "We'd better drive."

As Tony turned his head to back out of the campground, he felt a stabbing pain in his neck from the previous night. His hand came away bloody from it. Fucking Loki and his twisted take on love bites.

"Bloody hell, Loki, you don't have to bite me all the time! Steve'll kill me when he sees that." Tony growled.

Loki hissed ferally, looking ticked off. "The temptation is a little too strong."

"Come on, you tried to tell me yesterday you had a lid on it." Tony said.

"From what I have heard, your alcoholism is under your control, but could you resist a shot of scotch poured into the navel of a whore?" Loki seethed, knowing he had Tony. "I did not think so."

"Did you just call me a whore?"

"I likened you to one." Loki shrugged. "Any time you worship my flesh, I may just give in to the temptation. Either deal with it or cease submitting to me."

Well. If that wasn't an ultimatum.

Tony rubbed his short hair with one hand. This would be a long car trip unless he could think of a topic of conversation not relating to his companion's disturbing sexual preferences.

"So." Tony said awkwardly. "Tell me about yourself."

Tony saw Loki look a tad surprised out of the corner of his eye. "Pardon?"

"Yeah, well, I've got to make you a new identity, right?" Tony shrugged, though he knew full well that wasn't the reason. "Give me something to work with, big guy."

"My name is Loki Laufeyson...?" Loki offered stubbornly.

"Yeah, and that's all I know about you. Were you born a vamp or made one? Why don't you travel in a pack? Who actually are you apart from a bitchy vamp who doesn't play well with others?" Tony said.

"I was born human." Loki said shortly, averting his gaze and running his hand along the door. "My past means I cannot join a pack, and who I am is truly none of your business."

"See, I wanted to know if you were born human, cause the only other Loki my researcher could tell me anything about was that hunter's kid, Loki Burison, who went missing several years back." Tony said, knowing full well he was scratching something there.

"That is _not _me." Loki said acidly, accidentally ripping a hole in the door panel in sudden anger. "Pay attention to the road."

Loki didn't say another word for hours, and Tony knew full well he'd pissed the vampire off.


	3. Bring It On, Twilight

**A/N: **Hey, this update didn't take long! I'm starting to really get into writing this and there will almost definitely be sequel and probably a prequel or two = D

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**Chapter 3: Bring It On, Twilight**

About three things Tony was absolutely positive. First, Loki was a vampire. Second, there was a part of him, and Tony didn't know how dominant that part might be, that thirsted for his blood. And third, he was unconditionally and irrevocably a douchebag.

Case in point was how when they stopped for dinner that night Loki decided to subtly dump pepper on top of all of Tony's food so he started sneezing uncontrollably and couldn't taste any of what he was eating.

When asked why, Loki just shrugged and said "Why not?"

They made it midway through Minnesota by just after midnight and Tony decided he needed to sleep, so Loki made a repeat of last night, heading out to hunt.

Tony had discovered from his research into vampires that human blood is what they really crave. Kind of obvious, really, but he now knew that all the animal blood in the world wasn't nearly as sweet as drinking from a human, which explained why for all his self-control Loki kept leaving such messy hickeys in the heat of the moment.

But it couldn't happen again. It was the reason Steve had left in the first place.

Loki got back while Tony was asleep, knocking on the window with hands all bloody and scratched.

"What the hell happened to you?" Tony said blearily.

"Dinner bit back. A wolf decided I was rather easy prey and ambushed me, but it did not account for me striking back and breaking its neck." He said with a fey, bloody grin.

Loki was tough; you had to give him that. Even if Tony's suspicion was right and Loki was only about thirty years old, he seemed like he was much older, a kind of unearthly ancient feeling. Though if Loki used to help his father on hunts, being trained to kill from youth could be partially accountable for that.

"What was a wolf doing this far south-east?" Tony said confusedly.

"I know not, just that he was delicious." Loki chuckled, opening the car to climb onto Tony and bite at his jawline, leaving little smears of wolf blood.

"Oh, hell, no. If you're going to bite, we're not having sex. Steve'll throw a bitch fit." Tony said, hoping his pathetic willpower could hold up under the hot glare Loki was giving him. "I want him back, and if that means no hot kinky vamp sex, then fine."

His dick was going to kill him.

Loki snarled at him, pinning his hands down with his superhuman strength, and said "What if I do not care for your opinion?"

Tony felt a spike of fear. "I'm serious, Loki. Get off me."

There was a tense moment where Loki's incongruously hot rotten breath washed over Tony's face. Then Loki climbed off him to wriggle into the front seat and continue reading with his night vision, leaving Tony to wonder what the fuck was going on in his life.

-O.O-

They set off before dawn, Tony having a breakfast of cold pepper-inundated pizza and a swig of scotch and Loki eating nothing.

For the first time, Tony pondered what Loki was sacrificing to stick to Tony's schedule. He wasn't feeding much, but seeing as Tony had no idea how often vampires needed to feed this may have meant nothing. But Loki wasn't sleeping, probably because he usually slept during the daytime and Tony was talking with him then, and Loki had sworn off attacking humans, at least until the deal was fulfilled. He must have really wanted that new identity and safehouse, which meant to Tony that Loki was fully prepared to burn the fragile bridges he held between himself and the vamp community on the whole.

Tony also couldn't fight his concerns about the Alpha's control over Loki, if there was any. The last thing he needed was Loki turning on him.

"My, this silence is most unusual." Loki said with a low laugh.

"Sorry. Just thinking." Tony said. "We'll be there by this afternoon."

"I am aware of that. I've plenty of time spent roaming the country."

"'Cause you used to be a hunter." Tony pointed out suddenly.

It wasn't a question, and Loki didn't reply scathingly or in the negative, just said "I was never one of you." in a way that suggested he'd never fitted in.

"...Well, okay. Tell me about where you've been." Tony said, wanting to hear Loki talk some more with his odd accent and manner of speech.

"I traveled to Alaska once, in the winter," Loki said with a fond half-smile, and told Tony about how it wasn't sunny for very long, so he could spend lots of time outdoors, and nice and cold how he liked it, but then a hunter named Hank came after him for killing someone's moose and he had to leave or be killed. Then about hiding out in New Mexico, and California, and even Quebec and then Nova Scotia for a spell.

Before he knew it they were gliding into Hoople in the late afternoon. Tony checked into the same motel that Steve had been in and told Loki to stay there and get some sleep.

"But-" Loki protested.

"No buts." Tony frowned. "You look like shit. Go to sleep. I'm heading out to do a few jobs and drive past the Alpha's mansion so I can get another look at what we're up against."

Loki rolled his eyes and plonked face first onto the single bed Tony had allocated him.

Tony took a minute to admire how not-scary he looked while relaxing before getting in their - no, his - crappy Corolla and driving out of the parking lot.

-O.O-

The main reason Tony had gone out was because this would be first significant span of time he'd been out of Loki's company for the last two days and he wanted to ring Bruce.

He parked in a campground and rang the familiar number.

"Hello?" Bruce said gently. Tony liked how quiet Bruce was, even if the man was rumoured to have one hell of a temper. It was a nice grounding point for the craziness that was his life.

"Hey, Brucey boy. It's me." Tony said brightly.

"Oh, hi, Tony. What do you want?" Bruce said, his tone lifting a little in recognition.

"Can't I just call socially?" Tony teased.

"No. None of us do. Have you found Steve?" Bruce said.

"Working on it. How are you?" Tony said airily.

"Fine. Tony, cut to the chase." Bruce deadpanned.

"Okay. What can you tell me about the Burison family?" Tony asked.

"This doesn't have anything to do with your conversation last time about that vampire, does it?" Bruce replied. "You should probably keep away from him. From what I heard, that guy's brain is a bag of cats."

"Maybe. Just tell me." Tony said cagily.

"Hmm." Bruce said. In the background, Tony could hear his ancient A/C and Bruce himself furiously typing his way through his archives. Bruce had been the first person to properly make use of the technology available to hunters and consolidate information on, well, everything pertinent to hunting into a database so he could help people. He lived to give, trying to make amends for a destructive past.

But hey, every hunter had a history, even the ones who looked the most innocent. Look at Steve.

"Okay." Bruce said finally. "Burison family, led by semi-retired hunter Odin Burison, married to Frigga Burison, and father of Thor Burison, active hunter, and Loki Burison, missing and presumed dead."

"I knew that bit. Anything else?" Tony asked.

"Not much, they're pretty private. Apparently Odin pretty much spearheaded the anti-vamp movement in the late 20th century, and his son still makes a point of hunting them." Bruce said.

"Holy shit." Tony said in shock. No wonder Loki couldn't fit in with other vamps very well if his family had massacred them all, never mind his acidic personality. And it also was no wonder that Loki couldn't stay with his family if they were known for slaughtering vampires on sight.

"Nothing to do with the vamp, right, Tony?" Bruce said dryly.

"Look, Bruce, I'm wrapped up in some crazy shit right now. Can you make an amendment to Loki Laufeyson's file? I made a promise." Tony said quickly.

"I can, of course, but what...?" Bruce said, a little confusedly.

"Just write that Loki Laufeyson is under the protection of one Anthony Edward Stark and any hunter that nabs him will have to answer to me." Tony said.

"Tony, could you please tell me what's going on? What's happening with Steve? What does Loki have to do with any of this?" Bruce asked.

"Bruce, I will drive to New York when this is over with a bottle of your favourite liquor and explain the whole thing, but for now, don't worry your fuzzy little head about it." Tony promised.

Bruce made an acknowledging hum as Tony heard him typing. "Should I change Loki Burison's entry too?"

"I don't have any real proof they're the same person, so we'd better leave it. What do you have on the Alpha Vampire?" Tony asked.

"...Just about nothing. He keeps his head down. No location, no nothing. He could be dead for all I know." Bruce said.

"Ah. Okay. Thanks, that's what I needed to know. I owe you a drink, Brucey boy." Tony said, saying his goodbyes and hanging up.

Well. That was more than Tony would have guessed at.

He started his car and drove to the head vamp's house, next to an old monastery. It was a big old house, so classic Dracula that it was almost hilarious.

Almost, because there wasn't much funny about his best friend being leeched dry just because he'd never gotten any. Or maybe there was, seeing as Tony's sense of humour had gotten a bit weird while hanging out with Loki.

Loki. He was the key to getting into that house and getting Steve out again, seeing as any human trying to help Steve would probably be eaten or at the very least laughed out of the whole place.

Tony turned around and headed back to the town for some dinner.

-O.O-

Loki wasn't a sleeper. Despite not doing anything more than a light doze for a few days, he only needed a few hours to get him back on his feet with his stomach rumbling and the familiar lustful desire for blood roiling through him.

He hated the feeling and all it signified. It was just another way to be reminded he was a _monster._

That didn't change the fact he had to drink the stuff. Reese's Peanut Buttercups and Cup-A-Soups weren't exactly tolerated by his system; once upon a time, he'd tried to eat human food and had been very ill.

Loki scrawled a note and left it on the bed:

**Gone hunting. Will return in good time; worry if I do not return by 11pm.**

**-L**

Figuring that said enough, he slipped out and locked the door with his key, slipping out into the night.

They were on the outskirts of town, near the forest that Loki assumed had been where Tony had caught and 'interrogated' that vampire that had told him where Steve was.

Emphasis on the quotation marks. Loki hoped Stark would keep the deal and not simply behead him and throw his corpse in a ditch. The mortal didn't seem the traitorous type, in fairness, but there was no accounting for how Rogers would act, seeing as there was no love lost between the soldier and the vampire.

Loki had barely made it out of eyesight of the town when he felt a heavy blow to the head and slumped to the ground, unconscious.

-O.O-

Tony made it back to the motel room by around 10pm after eating a burger and having a few drinks at a bar to question the people there about the large house by the monastery. And because he wanted a drink. Whatever.

He had been propositioned by a few girls - the rugged charm was evidently still going strong - but he had turned them down under the assumption that Loki wouldn't put up with Tony fucking someone in the bed next to him.

When he got back, the little room was conspicuously empty, and Tony panicked for a second until he saw the note on the bed.

By 11, though, there wasn't a trace of Loki, so Tony grabbed his pistol and his knife and set out for the woods where he'd probably been.


	4. My Bitchy Vampire

**A/N: **See, look! The chapters aren't taking forever! Aren't you proud?

And reviews would be looooovelyyyyyyy

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**Chapter 4: My Bitchy Vampire**

Loki was not used to people getting the drop on him; his heightened sense of smell usually meant he knew of any humans nearby a long time before they knew of him. As it should be.

But the two clever bastards who'd gotten a hold of him had used the hunter's trick of using the ash from a fire of trillium, saffron and skunk's cabbage to block his sense of smell and he'd never noticed. Perhaps he was getting a little _too _used to his sharp sense of smell.

These two were good, he'd give them that.

As he swam back to consciousness he finally saw his captors: a stocky, muscular man with cropped brown hair who kept complaining, and a compact, athletic woman with blood red hair who kept telling the man to shut up.

Loki also vaguely noted he was tied up tight enough to contain his super strength, not to mention his limbs felt like jelly from the head blow. He seemed to be in a tiny cabin somewhere.

"Oh, hello, there." He said dully. "Could you give me a hand? Some _oaf _seems to have tied me up."

"Shut up, Loki. Don't speak until you're spoken to." The woman said.

Ah. So they didn't just know he was a vampire, they knew which vampire he was.

"You seem to know my name, so you would presumably also know I am not one of the Alpha's pets. I am not a threat. Let me go." Loki reasoned.

"What were you doing in Tony's room?" The man suddenly said, turning the lamp on the desk and shining it right in Loki's eyes.

"Sleeping! What ludicrous number of terrible law enforcement programs have you been watching to believe that blinding me with a lamp will help loosen my tongue?" Loki scoffed.

"Stop it, Clint." The woman frowned.

"Fine." Clint said sulkily, turning the lamp off and leaning towards Loki. "Why were you sleeping there?"

This needed to be a careful balance of not giving them enough information for them to be done with him and kill him, and giving them enough so they wouldn't torture him. "Because Stark told me to." Loki said obstinately.

"What?" Clint said, clearly not expecting that. Then he narrowed his eyes shrewdly. "He boned you, didn't he?"

"Hardly any of your business. I am obligated to tell both of you that if I am harmed in any way, Stark will be rather annoyed." Loki said stiffly.

"Start telling us what you know about Steve Rogers, Loki, or I'll use this." The woman said, holding up a syringe of blood that was probably not delicious and nutritious.

Sometimes Loki hated being infamous amongst hunters for being the sneakiest, smartest vamp out there. People just took it as a challenge, and Stark liked to mock him with it when he was being submissive for a change.

"As Stark may or may not have told you, depending on how near and dear you are to him, our virginal Captain Rogers is currently in captivity in our lord the Alpha's home." Loki said, vaguely wondering why he always called the Alpha our lord despite having no love for him. "He asked for my help."

Clint facepalmed. "Making deals with demons. Bloody Tony."

"I am not a demon." Loki said indignantly, extending his fangs. "I am a vampire. Enormous difference, I'll have you know."

"Yeah, we know." The woman said, holding the syringe threateningly. "Why did he ask you?"

"I assume because I am not in a pack and he has plenty of resources for me to prey on." Loki frowned. "Anything else would be the basest sentimentality."

"What's the real reason?" Scary Lady said, touching the point of the needle to his shirtsleeve.

"_Call him._" Loki hissed. "He will vouch for my presence."

"We'll see about that." Clint pulled his cellphone out of his pocket and scrolled to the contacts, picking out Tony's number.

"I really must get a phone." Loki said thoughtfully.

"You really must shut up." Clint said, mocking his fancy accent. "Hey, Tony!"

Scary Lady gestured for him to stick it on speakerphone and he did.

"Clint? I'm kind of busy here. What do you want?" Tony's voice was crackly over the phone.

"We've got a vamp here who says you're his ticket out of us chopping his block off?" Clint said.

"Loki!" Tony gasped. "I've been looking for you for ages!"

"We saw him leave your room." Scary Lady said. "We thought he might have something to do with Steve going missing."

"Natasha, he's been helping me. Where are you?" Tony said urgently.

Loki breathed the tiniest sigh of relief. So Tony wasn't going to leave him to be poisoned by what had to be dead man's blood, or worse, beheaded.

"I have reason to believe it is the same cabin you used to interrogate my kinsman." Loki said loudly.

"Aha. I'll be there in a minute. If either of you hurt a _hair _on Loki's head I'll be pissed off." Tony said, hanging up.

Loki put on his best shit-eating grin as Clint and the newly named Natasha turned to glare at him suspiciously.

"What can I say." Loki smirked. "I am a creature of many talents."

Clint rubbed his face irritably. "You are actually the slipperiest bastard out there, aren't you?"

"Explains how I have survived this long, yes." Loki purred. "Unbinding me would be a great leap forward for diplomacy."

Despite that, neither hunter found it in their hearts to untie Loki.

There was an awkward silence for a minute or two until someone knocked on the door and identified himself as Tony.

Natasha slinked across the room and unlocked it.

"A locked door?" Loki said in mock-horror. "How quaint. That _definitely _would stop me from escaping, what with my terrible phobia of poorly constructed wood."

"Ah, yes, that sounds like my bitchy vampire." Tony said as he walked in. "Thanks for picking him up."

"Why is he here, Tony?" Natasha said seriously.

"I _told _you already." Loki said tetchily. "All of you would fail admirably if you try to rescue him. You need me."

"It's true, guys. We can't get Steve out without him." Tony shrugged, unsheathing his silver knife and cutting Loki loose.

Loki gave a luxurious stretch and made to leave. "The abduction and threats were lovely, but I must be off."

"Hey!" Clint said, grabbing his wrist.

Loki gave a low hiss and said "What?!"

"We want him back too." Clint insisted.

"Do you want a certificate?" Loki snarked.

"We want to help." Natasha deadpanned.

Tony rubbed his eyes and said "Fine. Fine! We need some planning, obviously, and we need some sleep. In that order, though, cause Loki needs to sleep during daytime."

"I think reconnaissance may be in order." Loki pointed out. "Wandering in blind is foolhardy at best."

"So, head to the house?" Clint asked.

Everyone just sort of...agreed, and they left the cabin for Tony's car at the motel.

"I never did get my hunt." Loki said irritably as they walked. "I'm hungry."

"Shut up." Clint whined. "At least you can see."

"To be honest, I have almost forgotten what the night looks like." Loki said quietly. "I miss it."

And wow, did that kill the mood, not that the mood was particularly positive to start with.

Loki was quietly pondering why Natasha and Clint had come over to working with him so quickly. Either they trusted him, which was bullshit because they were far too experienced as hunters to take anything they hunted to its word, or they trusted Tony, which was a definite maybe, or they planned to kill him.

Probably a disturbing amalgamation of the latter two. Loki Laufeyson's head on a wall was likely rather valuable amongst the people he'd outsmarted.

Once they made it to the battered Corolla, Tony and Natasha started to brief Loki.

"Right, sunshine, just go in and have a look around to see if you can find him." Tony said.

"If anyone seems like they're onto you, just lie your way out." Natasha added.

"If someone tries to behead you, don't duck." Clint said sulkily.

"Yes, yes." Loki said, waving a hand impatiently. "You act as if I've never done something of this sort before."

They were nearly there when Loki demanded he be let out there in case the vampires decided to wonder why a renegade vampire was being chauffeured places.

Loki got out of the back seat and onto the grassy verge, wriggling to loosen up after the tightness of the tiny back seat.

"Open the boot, Stark," Loki said. "I require something from my trunk."

Said trunk was all Loki had brought with him from Virginia and contained everything he owned.

Tony climbed out and unlocked the boot, hugely curious as to what Loki wanted.

It took Loki a few minutes of searching through clothes and books to find what he wanted: an old leather sheathe containing a knife. "I knew it was still in my possession." He murmured as he pulled the well-made silver from its case and carefully wiped off the old dried blood and dust on the grass before looping it on his belt.

Tony felt his heart skip a beat. _Hunter's knife._

"Nice blade." He said nonchalantly.

"Is it not?" Loki said with a weirdly proud half-smile. "Let's do this."

-O.O-

People did not knock on the door of the Alpha's manor. Humans were scented and caught before they reached the door, and vampires tended to just walk straight in without a care in the world.

Therefore it certainly got the attention of the two vampires sitting in the entrance hall when a clear, confident knock sounded against the entranceway.

Opening the door led to an even greater surprise: a gaunt, skinny vampire with a winning smile.

"Hello, there. May I come in?" He said, voice all cool charm.

"Burison?" One of the vampires said, recognising him.

"_Laufeyson._" Loki corrected. "I have three hunters that have been on my ass for two days, and I need shelter while I figure out how to wiggle out of the promise I made to the first one."

The one who had recognised him narrowed her eyes suspiciously; this particular vampire was a notorious liar and trickster. That said, he wasn't looking too good, with a gash on his head and a wild, pursued look in his eyes.

"I suppose so." She said. "You're one of us. But don't try anything."

Loki just raised an eyebrow innocently. "Not even the fig jelly? You disappoint me. In any case, all I need is a few hours for them to grow weary of waiting for me to exit."

"That can be done." said the other vampire. "Do you need to feed?"

"_Yes," _Loki moaned. "They do not let me feed. I imagine this is my comeuppance for gaining a reputation."

The vampire who had recognised him gave a little laugh and led him away. "Come, a party is just leaving."

-O.O-

After about an hour and half of sitting in the car rubbing his hands, Tony smacked his forehead on the steering wheel. "That little bitch isn't coming back, is he?" He said in a sudden epiphany.

"I was wondering when you'd catch on." Natasha said dryly.


	5. Punch Your Lights Out

**A/N: **Here you go, a new chapter. Merry late Christmas.

* * *

**Chapter 5: Punch Your Lights Out**

After a deliciously satisfying hunt, the first good one he'd had since this whole debacle started, Loki decided to actually honour his promise and stop messing around.

Asking about Steve would attract attention, seeing as he'd just turned up out the blue, so he concentrated very hard and tried to scent him out over the reek of human blood that filled the halls.

The second floor, in a locked cell. Steve was asleep, and weak from lack of blood. A guard was stationed outside, but Loki could sense his fatigue, so maybe he could be tricked.

Loki was a liar. It had always been his strength, playing tricks and acting his way out of the tight corners his life had squeezed him into, and when all else failed - which really only applied to Stark, who was a little too clever for comfort - giving into the temptation and simply fucking the human.

In this case, all he really had to do was have a look at what they were doing. He put on his most casual saunter and wandered nonchalantly upstairs.

The vamp guarding the door glared suspiciously at him as he approached. "What do you want, Burison?"

"Laufeyson," Loki said, cursing his name and everything associated with it. "Are you not a little tired?"

"Well, yeah, but I have to stay here." The vampire said, scratching his head thoughtfully.

"Take an hour's rest. I can keep things up here." Loki said, spooning on his most persuasive tone.

"Why would you do that, Liesmith?"

"Call it the goodness of my heart, if I had one." Loki shrugged. "If you worry about me doing anything untoward, you should know I hate this human more than the rest of them. He continues to hunt me even as I slip his net."

"Don't _eat _him, then. He belongs to our lord the Alpha." The vampire said warningly.

"I wouldn't dream of it." Loki said honestly.

"I'll be back in an hour." As the vampire turned to leave, Loki's face split into a grin. _Excellent._

Within a few minutes, Loki had picked the lock using support wire from his leather jacket and snuck in.

He crossed the room to the narrow cot where the large man was slumped, asleep.

"Rogers," Loki hissed, shaking Steve's shoulder while glancing behind him to make sure the door was closed.

Steve stirred but didn't wake up. He was surprisingly weak and pale from blood loss.

"Rogers, you imbecile, wake up or Stark will have my head." Loki growled, shaking harder.

"Tony?" Steve murmured.

"No, you moron." Loki said.

Steve blearily opened his blue eyes. "_Loki?!_" he gasped, shocked by how much blood Loki hadn't cleaned out of his teeth.

"Yes, obviously." Loki said irritably. "Look, Stark and I are working together to aid your escape, so I needed to warn you for when we come, probably within the next day. Despite what you may think, I am not the spawn of Satan, merely the spawn of Eve, so you may trust me."

"Trust _you?_" Steve snorted. "You're just a rogue vamp who Tony likes because you're willing to, uh, fondue with him."

Loki could have punched him. He was sick of not being trusted. "Shut your mouth before I fuck it, Rogers. I made a deal with Stark that I _fully _intend to keep, and either you trust me or I leave you here to have your essence leeched by these bloodsuckers without regret. Is that clear?"

Steve pondered that for a minute before nodding.

"Good." Loki said sharply. "Quite frankly, we have no clue. At the moment I am planning to spirit you out the window, but that is subject to change. It will probably be done in broad daylight to give us a better chance of escape. Aside from that, you may as well guess."

"...Okay." Steve said edgily.

"Excellent. Now, can you fall back asleep or do I need to punch you in the skull?" Loki asked.

"I can sleep." Steve winced as Loki smirked and left the room, making sure to lock it and stand guard until the other vampire came back and relieved him.

-O.O-

Now all Loki had to do was leave.

Given a choice, he would have beheaded everyone and stormed out, but unfortunately that lacked subtlety.

Instead he put on a perfect act of asking the female vampire who'd let him in if there were any humans within smelling distance - knowing full well that Tony, Natasha and Clint were all disguised - and then cautiously making his way out after thanking her.

He strolled nonchalantly down the driveway before breathing in to scent the all too familiar smell of the battered Corolla and the bottle of surprisingly expensive scotch that Tony hid in his glovebox. They were a few kilometres away, much to Loki's irritation, so he set off in a steady run to get there. He really needed to buy a phone.

-O.O-

Tony had decided that he'd give Loki a few hours to come back. I mean, Loki had put up with so much of his shit recently that he was probably just taking some time. Right?

Leaving Natasha to sit awake like a hyper-aware owl, Tony and Clint both drifted off to have a nap while they waited.

Natasha managed a moment's warning, smacking Tony awake, before Loki was knocking on the door slightly breathlessly.

Tony's quota for girly screeching had been exceeded and then some in the last few days, but somehow Loki's aquiline face appearing unexpectedly just terrified him for a second. It was embarrassing.

Then Clint woke up with a yelp and Loki smirked his shit-eating smirk at the pair of them.

"May I come in, or should I stay out here?" Loki said dryly. Tony smiled at him and unlocked the doors.

"See, guys?" Tony said as Loki folded his gangly limbs into the back seat. "I told you he'd be back."

"Yeah, great, he didn't run away." Clint said darkly. "Let's get out of here."

"I find your lack of faith...disturbing." Loki said in a sinister tone, and even Clint had to crack a grin at the Star Wars reference.

-O.O-

It didn't take too long for Loki to fill everyone in on where Steve was and how Loki planned to get him out.

"But, before all that," He finished. "You all need rest and sustenance, and I could do with the former, so we should return to our respective accommodations."

Clint and Natasha were staying in the same place as Tony and Loki, so they parted ways to have a much needed sleep at the grand time of 6am. The sun was sneaking over the horizon and making Loki downright bitchy.

Loki skipped his usual flirtatious shit that he did whenever he saw Tony near a flat surface an instead curled up on his bed for a much deserved sleep.

-O.O-

"Plan of attack." Loki said, watching a man's jugular as he sat at the front of the diner. "Do we have one?"

"Not so much." Clint said, munching a burger with enthusiasm. "What're you thinking, Dracula?"

"I am thinking my plan is so far the best one, unless Natasha has one hidden in her cleavage." Loki said.

Natasha glared at him for that one.

"Well, excuse me. I do not know where else one would conceal a plan." Loki said.

"In their brain?" Tony said through a mouthful of turducken.

"Meh." Loki said boredly. "Do any of you have any better ideas?"

There was a collective head shake.

"Excellent. Well, it is 10 now, and the sun will be at the best angle at around 2. Reload your weapons, ineffective as they are, bring a knife or three, and your very best smiles." Loki said, pulling his wide-brimmed hat over his face. "Stark, come with me. I want you to buy me a phone."

"Hold up! I haven't finished this yet!" Tony protested, waving the burger.

"Eat it quickly before I eat you." Loki said, extending his fangs a little and smirking.

"Well..." Tony said with a lascivious grin. "That isn't a half bad idea."

"Oh, how very _forward_ of you." Loki said with a sarcastic swoon.

Clint cleared his throat. "Do I really have to watch this?"

"Yes." Tony and Loki said simultaneously.

"Just _go._" Clint groaned, waving a hand on the door.

Tony decided to take his burger and leave before the pissed off look on Natasha's face escalated to actual violence, Loki making sure he was covered by his baggy sweatshirt and hat before following.

"Do you still have the syringe?" Clint asked.

"Of course." Natasha said, pulling the dead man's blood from a concealed pouch in her jacket. She had plenty of weaponry hidden on her at all times, a fact that had surprised more than one monster so far.

"Good." Clint said. "I have a feeling we're gonna need it." For what, he didn't specify.

-O.O-

Loki got his phone, much to his delight. "Excellent. I do not have anyone to call, but you never know when I may need to prank-dial somebody."

"Eh, you can call me." Tony said, reaching over the armrest in the car and programming his number in.

"In case something goes wrong with my witness protection?" Loki said.

"Nah. Text me any time. You're a good conversation." Tony shrugged, starting up the Corolla and making for the motel. "I'm actually rather glad I didn't kill you when I had the chance."

"It's rather pathetic that that is the most pleasant thing that has been said to me for quite some time." Loki said dully.

"Well, you have been a little isolated." Tony said. "You'll be in a neighborhood with people and stuff soon; you can go to libraries and the suchlike. I mean, you're really smart, you'll be able to actually do some learning and stuff."

"Are you calling me uneducated?" Loki teased.

"Me? Never. But you can never know enough, right?" Tony replied. "Can't be fun living in cabins and having, like, eleven books."

"No, it's not." Loki concurred. "I was a little short of alternatives."

"Well, you're going to have somewhere to go." Tony said, a little gloomy at the thought of hiding Loki away and not having him here. He pulled into the motel parking lot. "Right, sunshine, I'm gonna catch another nap while we have a few hours to kill."

"Are you now?" Loki said innocently. As soon as they were in the door, Loki shoved him onto his bed and straddled him. "I have a different idea."

Tony laughed as he gently kissed Loki's jaw. "Oh, really? What is it?"

Loki gave a possessive growl and bit at Tony's jaw. "Take a guess, oh exalted genius." He said lowly, smirking in a satisfied way.

"Okay, well, try not to bite." Tony said, trying to keep away from Loki's sharp teeth.

"Crybaby." Loki snorted.


	6. Get The Hell Out Of Hoople

**A/N: **Hey guys! One more chapter left after this one! Reviews would be hugely appreciated.

The sequel is going to be called _Don't Want No Money _and it'll be up when it's up, so just check sporadically if you care enough to do so.

**Chapter 6: Get The Hell Out Of Hoople**

Clint and Natasha were not impressed with their dishevelled appearances when Loki and Tony turned up at the car at the prearranged time. Not even slightly.

Therefore they climbed into the car in silence, Loki grinning wickedly with satisfaction at freaking everyone out.

"Does everyone know what they must do?" Loki said airily.

A grumbled 'yes' made its way through the car.

"Gosh, you are all like children." Loki sighed. "Light the jar."

The jar was a clay jar full of herbs that when burned provided smoke that blocked vampire's scent. Loki had wanted it done as late as possible so it couldn't wear off.

They pulled over on the side of the road and stunk the whole car out with the smoke, before clearing the air and continuing on their way.

Corollaine, as the Corolla had been dubbed by Tony, was pretty much impossible to scent out - Loki had tested that - but nobody was comfortable with leaving it too close to the Alpha's mansion, so they parked it a few hundred metres down the road and crept along the treeline.

The basis for them coming at the time they were was that the mansion faced west, and therefore the few vampires that weren't sleeping probably wouldn't be too close to the windows on the side they approached from, meaning they had less of a chance of being caught and having their asses kicked, but it wasn't late enough for long shadows to be cast everywhere. A solid system, or so Loki thought.

Loki himself was clad in the clothing he'd picked up that gave him a little more dignity than Tony's baggy sweatshirt and floppy hat had; a black high-necked leather jacket with matching gloves, black trousers, boots, and a wide hat. His skin was as covered as it could be.

The smoke and mirrors was put off for later as Loki scuttled to the front door in mock-terror and dove in.

Nobody was around. Loki took this as a bonus. He'd expected the door to be locked, but evidently someone had been shirking their duties.

A tiny part of Loki hoped this might work out better than he'd planned, but the realist in him laughed hysterically at the thought.

There was a vampire napping outside Steve's door, so Loki padded up silently, unpicked the lock - he'd brought his tools this time - and slipped in, relocking it once inside so hopefully his presence would not be immediately noticeable.

Steve was awake, if a little weak from blood loss. Loki imagined they kept him a little drained to make him easier to handle. The man was hardly small.

The blonde man jerked in surprise when Loki walked in.

"You look a bit ridiculous." He slurred, frowning at Loki's attire.

"Your comment will go unappreciated." Loki hissed. "Get up. We are to unlock this window so Natasha can gain entry."

"Nat's with you?" Steve said dazedly.

"Yes, you oaf, now close your mouth and do as I say." Loki said irritably. He held up his new phone and sent a text message to Natasha: _Blondie ready._

-O.O-

Despite Loki's vague and laughable hope that things would go well, things all of a sudden started to not go well.

Loki had the worst bloody luck in the world, because the vamp he'd left dozing outside Steve's room was none other than one Ivan Vanko, who had tussled with Tony a few times and held quite the grudge.

Said vampire was roused from his sleep when he became aware of the very faint smell of the one human he wanted dead above all others.

Loki probably should have showered after having sex with Tony.

In any case, Vanko woke up to a sudden blast of anger. "Anthony." He growled in his thick Russian accent. He sniffed the air carefully and ascertained the scent was coming from in the cell. Steve didn't smell like that, so Vanko knew something had changed.

He climbed to his feet, pushed his shaggy grey hair behind his ears and knocked on the door. "Meatman?" He asked. "What are you doing?"

He concentrated his excellent hearing and could have sworn he heard a decidedly _not-_Steve voice say "Shit fuck!"

That settled it for Vanko. He drew a gnarled fist back and punched a hole in the door, breaking it in half messily.

Loki was thinking fast. That was his specialty, right? He'd opened the window with some difficulty, and he'd spotted Natasha dashing toward the window, but he needed to hold the angry vampire off until she could climb the wall.

Right then Loki realised if he just killed Steve and acted like the whole thing was some vast misunderstanding, he could probably still fit in with the vampire brethren after this.

But if he did that, any chance of fitting in with the human brethren would be met with either a swift decapitation or a slow torture by dead man's blood.

And he kind of preferred the humans. With that thought, he nimbly leapt onto the cold mantelpiece and broke a scimitar from an ornamental display. The whole thing had been bound to stop Steve from using them, but Loki was far stronger than a human.

As Vanko pushed his way through the splintered door, Loki jumped elegantly from the mantelpiece, swung the sword, and killed him with a sharp swipe to the neck. No going back now.

Hopefully no one had heard the noise, but quite frankly Loki's luck wasn't that good and vampires had excellent hearing.

The black-haired monster dove across the room and stretched out the window to help Natasha with her climb, using his superstrength to lift her into the room with ease.

"Prepare Rogers for our departure." Loki said. Natasha didn't look even slightly fased to see him carrying a bloody sword, his fangs extended a little from bloodlust and his eyes glimmering with cunning. "I will hold off any advancements."

Loki had decided to leave the IV that was keeping Steve from exsanguinating, because removing it was probably a job for Natasha, seeing as she was unlikely to try to drink any of it. He didn't quite trust himself; bloodlust was a fickle thing.

However, the crash of the door and the subsequent smell of blood had attracted the few conscious vampires and woken many more up. Loki stood just inside the doorway, clutching the scimitar in one hand and his silver knife in the other.

"Bring it on." He grinned when he saw a few pissed-off looking vampires storming towards him.

Natasha carefully pulled the needle out of Steve's elbow joint - he couldn't take an IV down a wall, so he'd just have to deal - and helped him to his feet. She looked over her shoulder at her companion; he was using the doorway to bottleneck the attack, sword and dagger flashing, fending off vampires. There were already two corpses on the floor, Vanko's and another, and Loki was heading towards more.

The red-haired woman couldn't deny she was a bit impressed. The vamp was a tough bastard.

"Laufeyson!" Natasha said as she supported Steve to the window. "Time to go!" Then she turned and hurriedly said to Steve "You climb out the window. Loki's super strong, he'll catch you."

Loki backed across the room and shoved Steve's bed easily into the doorway, stalling the assault for a second as he handed his scimitar to Natasha, sheathed his dagger and scrambled out the open window to drop easily down two floors and land with a graceful roll. Fortunately he'd not only kept his hat on but was wearing a fucktonne of sunblock (Tony had thought it wouldn't work but he seemed okay) so he wasn't burning in the afternoon sun.

"Rogers!" Loki called.

Steve woozily folded his large frame out the window, clinging to the sill as Loki positioned himself under him.

Right then, the Alpha made it upstairs and realised what was going on. He plumbed his psychic connection to the other vampires, ascertaining all known information and consequently realising part of the opposition was one of his vampires.

Just as Steve let go, Loki crumpled from the force of the Alpha's sudden anger and crashed his skull against the wall of the house, tearing a gash along his scalp. Then Steve landed on him and Loki was sure he heard something break, but his spindly form still cushioned the blonde man's fall, meaning they could carry on.

Loki scrambled quickly to his feet and caught Natasha as she smoothly leapt from the window into his arms. As soon as he'd put her down he staggered again, fighting the Alpha furiously, trying to force his humanity to the surface to lock the Alpha out. He'd done it before, but he had been taken unawares this time.

Natasha was the only able-bodied, able-minded member of their team that wasn't waiting at the treeline. Leaving Loki to (from her perspective) have a little mental breakdown, she tugged Steve up, leaning his huge form against her small, curvy one, stumbling towards the treeline. A brief glance behind her confirmed that the vampires couldn't immediately follow, which was a bonus. Once they got coats and umbrellas and the like, Team Free Steve would be screwed.

Tony and Clint had been watching the whole ordeal from a distance, and as soon as they saw the drama unfolding next to the mansion wall they dashed forward.

It was rather startling to see the slice on Loki's head and the bizarre buckling of his chest that suggested a broken rib, but even more startling was that his green eyes were bloodshot (somehow?) and his fangs were fully extended.

"Shit, are you okay?!" Tony gasped.

Loki felt the fog in his head clearing. He'd beaten it, for now, just in time to hear Tony ask that. "Yesss." He said with difficulty. "It is not easy."

Tony had no idea what he was talking about, but time was of the essence so he grabbed Steve's other side and helped haul him off the property, leaving Loki to hobble quickly after and Clint to watch their backs, carrying the scimitar Natasha had handed off to him. At least the vampire didn't need to breathe much, so that made the whole broken rib situation easier.

Everyone now regretted parking the car any distance away, especially with the threat of being eaten by their pursuers once said pursuers got their shit together.

Loki got there first, being both supernaturally fast and not heaving over 200 pounds of semi-conscious man, and opened the car with the keys he'd pickpocketed off Tony.

"Get him in!" Loki said urgently, gesturing at the back seat.

Clint hopped in and helped Steve into a semi-horizontal position on the seat, before hopping in the driver's seat, stowing his sword and inviting everyone to squish into Corollaine somehow.

"Let's get the hell out of Dodge." He growled as he turned the ignition and slammed down the accelerator.


	7. The Road So Far

**A/N: **I'm going on a short holiday, so I thought I'd finish this before I leave *throws paper at you*  
Last chapter, obviously, but there'll be couple of one-shots and then a sequel hopefully, and in theory they won't take too long.

**Chapter 7: The Road So Far**

They had to head back to the motel to depart from Clint and Natasha - Loki still didn't know their last names and probably never would - and to collect the ends and odds left in their hotel room.

Loki was unsure of what was going to happen now. Probably Tony would shove him in a safehouse while he got his shit together. In any case he was sandwiched next to Tony in the back seat, head screaming in pain and broken rib aching harshly. He kept drifting off a little and he knew the only way to heal quickly would be to drink human blood, which was a deal breaker.

Once they were nearly in Hoople, Clint pulled the car over.

"What? What're you doing?" Tony said confusedly.

"Moving Steve to the front seat. Unless you think you can do it with just you and a half-dead vamp." Clint said, climbing out of the car.

"I am not half-dead." Loki said weakly.

Steve was much more lucid now, if a little jelly-legged, and he managed to climb out of the car somewhat agreeably. "I'm feeling a lot better, thanks to you guys."

Rather awkwardly, all five of them climbed out of the car and just stood there like they were waiting for something.

Natasha and Clint exchanged significant eye contact, agreeing silently on something. Then Natasha grabbed Loki by his long black hair and stabbed her syringe into his neck.

As soon as his body absorbed the dead man's blood, Loki slumped to the ground, half-conscious, held up only by Natasha's death grip on his hair.

Tony shouted something illegible in protest as Clint snatched the scimitar from the car and aimed it at Loki's throat. Not sure if it would work, he dove forward anyway, trying to catch the handle as Clint started to swing and slicing his hand open on the base of the blade. The scimitar stopped in its arc and Tony twisted the handle to liberate it from Clint.

"What the _fuck _are you doing?!" Tony shouted, brandishing the sword in his good hand while trying to ignore the shocking amounts of blood from his bad one.

Natasha released her hold on Loki's hair, letting the vamp crumple weakly to the ground. "Deal's over, Tony. The monster has to go."

"What?! No! Don't you fucking _dare!_" Tony snarled, crouching next to the vampire. Loki was almost passed out, not just from the injection but also from the pain in his head. "Here." He said soothingly, offering his bloody hand to Loki, who looked fucking pathetic trying to swipe blood from Tony's gash and suck it into his mouth. "We had a deal, guys!" Tony said without looking at any of them.

"Deals with monsters don't count." Clint pointed out, trying to reason with Tony.

"_He's not a monster!" _Tony shouted. Loki cringed a little from the sound.

"Tony." Steve said seriously. Tony looked up and made eye contact with startling blue. "You know how it works. Get what you want, move on. You don't owe him anything."

"I bloody do. You all do. Steve, your ass would still be in that hellhole if he hadn't dragged you out." Tony said angrily.

"You never should have asked for his help!" Steve replied sharply. "Just because you - you-"

"I what, _Rogers?" _Tony said, still crouching next to Loki, somehow managing to remain somewhat dignified and intimidating with Loki licking his hand. The human blood was helping though, small a quantity as it was; Loki looked more bright-eyed already, but still deathly weak. "Fucked him? So what? That's not the important bit. What matters is that we owe him!"

"Deals with monsters don't count." Steve quoted Clint, leaning heavily against the car in his weakness. "You don't want to kill him? Leave him here, the other vamps'll catch him soon enough."

"Fuck no." Tony said, pulling Loki with him to a standing position. "He's not, I dunno, a demon or some shit, he's not evil, he used to be a fucking hunter just like us! I am not letting you kill him!"

Tony opened the front passenger door of the car and splayed Loki into it, who made a weird sound of protest that was half yelp and half groan. The vampire looked half-dead, like Clint had said.

"Tony, after I left a few weeks ago, I was all set to come back if you apologised. Now? Well, I'm not so sure." Steve said. "It's him or me, Tony, and that's it."

"It's not _him or you_." Tony snorted. "It's a man's life vs. your friendship, which I can clearly see was worth fuck all when I wanted your fucking support."

All three hunters looked rather surprised by the exchange, even Natasha, who had raised both eyebrows.

Tony stormed around the car, jumped into the front seat, and turned the car on.

Steve watched in disbelief as Tony murmured something reassuring to Loki, flipped them off and then drove away, making Steve lose his balance and stumble from where he'd be leaning on the car.

He felt weak at the knees. It had been a big week. He sat down against a road sign and put his head in his hands.

-O.O-

Once they were far enough away from the others, Loki felt safe enough to sleep, and went out like a light as Tony drove on.

Without waking the vampire he'd thrown away his best friend for, Tony retrieved their few items from their motel room and checked out.

It took a few more hours on the road of aimless driving, trying to just go somewhere else, before Loki woke up.

When he did, Tony pulled them both over at a picnic area so they could talk.

The first think Loki said was just a tired "Thank you."

"No problem. They were all being assholes anyway." Tony shrugged.

"I am truly sorry, for once in my life." Loki sighed.

"Don't be sorry. For once in your life, you didn't do anything." Tony replied.

Loki looked about the car blearily. "You forgot my sword." He pouted. "I liked that."

Tony laughed suddenly. "It's in the back seat. I bet you look like a fucking _badass _with it."

"Oh, I do." Loki grinned. Then his face fell and he sat in an awkward silence. "What now?"

"I dunno. What do you want to happen now?" Tony said uncomfortably.

"Well..." Loki said, the beginnings of a smile tugging the corners of his mouth. "I do not think any permanent residency by myself in any location would be safe, not with the Alpha himself onto me, and you need a hunting partner..."

Tony beamed right back at him; he'd been entertaining the thought himself, a little, but he was sure the vampire wouldn't to. "I do. Are you suggesting someone for that position, Mr Laufeyson?"

"Naturally." Loki rebounded smoothly. "Under one condition."

"What?"

Loki smiled devilishly. "As soon as I am no longer ailing, I top."

Tony smirked along with him. Maybe things would work out anyway.


End file.
